4 months and counting...

Hard to believe, but it's been four months since I dragged my last cigarette.  But who's counting?  Me!  In the beginning it was easy.  The doctor scared the crap out of me by telling me that I had the lungs of a 78 year old woman!  Excuse me?  Yep!  That was it.  I was done with smoking.  No more.  I quit that day and haven't had a cigarette since.  Now don't get me wrong.  I have plenty of moments where I would kill to have a cigarette.  And still do.  In the beginning I had no cravings.  The words from the doctor resonated with me for a long time and quashed any cravings for nicotine.  At least for the first two months.  In the last two months I am experiencing more cravings.  The nicotine demon is trying his damnedest to beat me me down and seduce me into lighting up one of his own.  But I won't give in.  I've gone this long and feel better.  Breathing is much easier.  It amazes me how bad I was before I quit.  I knew I was having issues, but I didn't realize how bad they were until the doctor opened my eyes and I kicked the habit.  I suppose I'll have cravings in the years to come, but I have to think back and recall how bad I was before I quit, and how wonderful and freeing it is to breathe so easily, so deeply and so fully. 

My husband also quit smoking.  We're a team.  A true blue side by side supportive and loving team.  Sickening, huh?  But that's who we are.  He's had plenty of weak moments, but he too, has not given in to the nicotine demon.  That little bastard is not going to get the best of us!  We've come realize our weak moments and support each other during those moments, and sometimes we hope that the other person will give in and buy a pack of temptation. 

I suppose the what has made this successful for me is fear.  Plain and simple.  Fear.  The fear of not being able to breathe freely and on my own.  The fear of developing emphysema...lung cancer...and ultimately death.  An early death.  And I don't want to die too soon or because of something that I could've prevented.  My husband and I have a long bucket list and smoking would've gotten in the way of that and I can't stand for that to happen.  What I have with him is so wonderful that smoking can't get in the way!